Thursday, October 16, 2014

Dragon-isms 2

More incredibly accurate office notes via my voice recognition software!


1.  I've instructed her that she needs a new parous uterus as the one that she has is quite worn out.

I assure you, I've never told anyone that she needs a new uterus because her old one is worn out, just because it's been used a couple of times.  (What I actually said was that she needs a new pair of shoes.)


2. His visiting nurse called on Friday with concerns that he was gaining weight and that he had two falls, one backwards into a set of orders for amiodarone down the stairs.

Sets of orders might be overly verbose and complicated, but rarely knock people down the stairs.

3. hismood.Hestakingbetweenoneand3pillsaday

This was just really weird, and I don't know if it was a Dragon thing or a Microsoft thing.  At any rate, there were just no spaces between any words.

4.  Also Pebble Beach Ranexa 150 p.o. q.d. to help with the side effects.

Even Dragon knows that doctors are always thinking about playing golf!

5.  Continue current medications.  Follow up in 6 lungs.

Months!  Not lungs!

6.  She is a professor of urination.

Urination, UNH...po-tay-to, po-tah-toe.

7. Her previous doctor is retiring.  She is sexually abusing a couple of different doctors to decide which one she ultimately wants to see.

That's...an interesting way to choose a new doctor.

8.  Mother died of a heart attack.  Father is out of cabbage.

Coronary Artery Bypass Grafting (CABG)...not the vegetable.

9.  He tells me that this year he really changed his diet and is now eating a pale yellow diet.

I guess that Dragon is not up on the latest paleo diet craze.  

10. He is taking several supplements to improve his memory and joint pain. He got scabies at a health food store.

I believe he got his supply at the health food store, not scabies.  If it was scabies, he really ought to re-think his shopping choices.

3 comments:

  1. Glad to see that Dragon is still giving the office comic relief :)
    Miss you all.

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  2. My Dragon can't figure out "Lialda" or "Align," no matter how hard I try to teach it.

    The running joke in our office is that when it's doing a particularly bad job, is that "my dragon is drunk".

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  3. hysterical! glad you can't get scabies from a health food store

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